And Now What?? …


God told me to Ask, Seek and Knock.  I did.  And NOW WHAT?


 [a]Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, it will be opened.”   Matt 7:7&8  AMPLIFIED
Footnotes: Matthew 7:7 Here the use of Greek present imperatives (asking, seeking, knocking; vv 7, 8) emphasizes persistent, constant prayer.

At different times during our years together, Joe and I talked about what either one of us would do if the other one died first.
Joe gave me very clear instructions.  “Don’t you dare die before I do!  I have no idea what I would do if that happened!  And I know you will make it.”
We both knew what I would do:  spend some time in the states with my kids, but go to Brazil and live there most of the time in our small “Nest” of an apartment in Natal. RN, located on the coast in the northeastern part of Brazil

I obeyed him, like a good wife should?  J  And he went Home first, as he wanted.

However, that is the only thing that went “according to plan!”

We both knew that his pensions would end at his death, and he had almost no life insurance.  But neither of us realized in a practical sense what that meant.
I found out fast.  All the pension payments and VA help stopped immediately.

I didn’t panic, for I know I am in God’s hands.  However, I was not emotionally prepared for all the consequences. (The month following Joe’s death, I move out of our apartment to my daughter Sheryl’s home here in Portland.  They are a blessing!
Yet, I know this is temporary, and my spirit is unsettled.)

I am asking, seeking and knocking before the Lord, daily… slowly releasing the past, turning my eyes to the future with Him.  But, how long do I wait for answers???

Our culture tells me I need to clarify my goals.  But what if my future goals are not His goals for me?  How does ask, seek and knock fit into all of this

Today I was reading My Utmost for His Highest, the page for July 28th.
“God’s training is for now, not presently.  His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future. We have nothing to do with the results of obedience [on a daily basis.]  His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His purpose is the process- that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea.

God’s end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present.” If you and I realize that what is important is our obedience now, then each moment as it comes is precious.

I will keep asking Him to guide me, seeking His will on a daily basis, knocking on the doors placed before me and see if He opens them.

My daily prayer is: “Lord, guide me. Keep me in Your will.  I do not trust my emotions.  The doors you want me to go through, if I hesitate, please push me through them.  If I start beating on a door to open it, and you don’t want me to go through it, please keep it shut – even if I start kicking on it.

“The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake…” 1 Peter 3:9a  NEW LIVING TRANSLATION

Thank you, Father, that You care! that You will continue to walk with me, teaching me.  Because I have YOU as my guide through all that is happening around me and in me, I know I will eventually understand.  And I will discover happiness beyond belief!

  • Voni  


This IS my heart’s cry for each one of us.

Forgiveness and Trust = Relax and Live in the Moment.

2017 July 09

Portland, Oregon



Ok, let’s go back a bit…see if you have been through some of this also?


I have a couple of relatives who have hurt me – many times.  I’ve talked with God about them many times.  You notice the phrase here “many times” 
And how does that fit into this story.  Keep reading and you’ll find out.

What happened on Friday?
Friday morning:

This past week my body was dragging. When I went to the appointment with the herbalist on Friday she looked at me and said:
“What happened to you?!”
“I don’t know! [Símbolo] “

“Well let’s check you and see what is going on!” was her brisk reply.
She began writing down the numbers as she tested me, and was not happy with the results. Those numbers showed my body was not happy either.

More questions, then a rapid-fire of things I needed to improve. More water, less coffee (dehydration), increased amounts of several supplements pertaining to adrenal, stress, the brain, and depression… then she added one called Nervous Fatigue . Instructions; 4 a day (2 right now.)  take them without fail.  I did and am doing.

Friday night we (Sheryl, Hermilio and I) go out for dinner with Keith Pottle, (Joe’s younger son) and his wife, Darcy.
Wonderful food and a wonderful visit.  I am amazed at how well I feel.
Sheryl and Hermilio’s 4 sons and their families…a total of 22 of us (11 children under 9 years of age) gathered around the dining room table.  The couples brought a display of food for a practical and delicious brunch.  The sun shining outside with a sweet breeze coming into the house. Plates are filled and we all find places to sit with our coffee.  The murmur of contented adults, the laughter of children – a delightful meal.

Conversations continue, more coffee made. Adults and children drift in and out of the house, depending on the moment.  (I disappear and get a 30 minute nap!  I couldn’t believe myself!)  Then – everyone to the pool!  Not a big one, but adequate.

Water games. Small children showing off their swimming prowess… some of them even beat up on me with water [Símbolo]

The evening draws to a close and all parents (tired) and children(tired) headed to their homes. . .


1/ The reason I must forgive and why I keep going back to the Lord for His help?
When I do not totally forgive someone for what they did to hurt me or someone I love, there is a little knob of hurt inside of me. If I don’t deal with it, it grows and begins to take root and fester on the inside.  This causes an inner tension and, with time, it creates doubt and bitterness inside my mind, influencing my relationship with everyone else

It is like taking a little poison each day that destroys one’s health, emotionally, physically, mentally.
Jesus knew this: He knew we would need an incentive to make the effort to forgive.  

So, He tells us: “14“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.15But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Then in Hebrews 12:15  “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” 

I learned that forgiveness is a process: it doesn’t happen overnight It is also not an emotion. Rather it is an act of obedience. When I don’t obey, my body does not work smoothly And that Friday, during the day so full of confusion, I finally was able to forgive those relatives.

2/ I’m also learning that when I believe – really believe – what Paul wrote in Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”  When I can work through my emotions and believe this, I find it easier to forgive and to trust God. I physically feel better. feel peace, and am free to enjoy each moment

3/ These last few days are being blessings to me! I am thankfu! 

My body and my spirit are absorbing what I need.  No chemicals, no artificial medications.  Simply simple… God’s Word is truth I can totally depend upon!
It is definitely a different world when I walk by these principles!

        – Voni

How about you?  Have you gotten stuck in your emotions as you try to forgive?  Are you able to trust God?  None of this is easy, and many tears are involved.  But it is so worth the work, to be able to walk free!
Leave a comment or question… I don’t have all the answers… just some.
and I’m here   , ,