October, 1978 – Belo Horizonte MG Brazil
I’m sitting on a small bench. A slight breeze moves the leaves of the tree that is creating a moving shadow over my head and parts of my body. I sip cold water from a small bottle I brought from my oldest daughter’s apartment. It is close -just one block down the steep street. I’m sitting at a small circular plaza at the top of the hill: just big enough for a car to go around a small circle to head down another street.
Other than an occasional car, the little plaza is quiet.
My mind is not quiet. It is opening memory’s doors, trying to comprehend the reality of what I am facing. I’m quite sure my husband of 30 some years of our marriage, is living part of the time with another woman, a woman whom I know well. My heart is in turmoil.
Unexpectedly, a strange thing happens. I can no longer see! Everything is black. My body feels heavy. And I can’t speak. But I can hear a voice repeatedly saying: “kill yourself… you have no hope.”
I am unable to think logically. Somehow, a memory comes into my mind. Joy Dawson from YWAM teaching about people being tortured. The one defensive tool we have is the power in the name of Jesus Christ. We may not be capable of praying, nor of speaking His name verbally, but we can say His name, over and over, in our minds.
I begin doing that. Very slowly the blackness and heaviness lift, as the other voice in my mind fades. I am able to speak His name aloud and the blackness disappears. I can see, think, and feel!
I sit in the spackled sunshine and shade, thanking God! Eventually I stand and trace my steps back to the apartment one block down the hill.
i am full of praise to God; I know exactly what happened. My husband had told me that the mother of his lover is a spiritualist medium and, obviously, a strong one. But I am protected as the Holy Spirit brought into my mind what I learned years before, so I can now use it.
I have never forgotten that day! What I learned from that gives me courage. What Salomon wrote in Proverbs is something you and I can hang onto –
a solid rock for our feet to stand upon,
Like the sparrow in her wandering, like the swallow in her flying, So the curse without cause does not come and alight [on the undeserving].
Amplified Bible (AMP)
You and I may receive many curses during our lives, from those who hate God’s light within us. We need to be aware of this for it is a reality as we live in today’s world. Sometimes people talk about the “evil eye.” I have experienced it. Have you ever seen someone look at you in hatred, or turn on you with anger in their eyes? Or you are in a large group of people and you see someone looking at you with evil in their eyes that send a shiver down your spine?
I’m not writing this to frighten anyone, but to simply make you aware of fact we are in a spiritual warfare… we may not see it, but we feel the effects of it.
However, we do not need to walk in fear. When these things happen, we need to concentrate on our God – Father, Lord Jesus Christ, and Helper the Holy Spirit. Ask Him for wisdom and protection, keep the focus of our lives on Him, knowing that even though we make mistakes , we walk under the wings of His protection and love. (Psa 91)
Remember, hang onto God’s promises for they are truth!
His promises and commands many times go against what we call “reality” in our day-to-day world, but “in reality God’s promises are the real reality!”
So, whose voice to I want to listen to?
Whose hand do I want to hold?
New Living Translation
For I hold you by your right hand–I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.
How about you?
Does this help you to understand and walk without fear, knowing as we follow Him, His promises are true?